You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
