I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
