Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
