woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
no you cant smoke seaweed
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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