If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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