Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize