so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
