My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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