apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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