I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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