Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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