So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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