I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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