but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
