I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
