We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize