dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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