I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
