I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
