belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
