Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
