I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
