Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Boobs speak an international language.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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