I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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