he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
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Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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