You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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