he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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