When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The uberlube is also flammable
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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