I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
