I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
