i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Who died my cat blue again?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
