i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize