saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize