I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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