my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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