dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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