either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have feelings that need drinking.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
