The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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