My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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