therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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