oh god the rape fog is back!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I believe in your delicious
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
