I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize