I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize