You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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