No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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