Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
