no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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