Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
