ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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