I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i came on her dog
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
