Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
