My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
