Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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