When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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