dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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