I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
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Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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