Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
