your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize