woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
