Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
