I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
