New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
