He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
