hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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