Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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