You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
